Chilicraft--The Afterburn

I'll make this fast, since I broke the camera and have no pics to share.
I felt Chilicraft was a good success, considering I had a month to pull it together, and it was hot.
Here was my day in a list:

1. Wake up tired.
2. Get to school later than I had liked, because every single stoplight from South City to U. City turned red when it saw me coming. Marcia calls; I try to sound cheerful and unpanicked.

3. Roll up to school. Vice principal is there, as are several other crafters. It is quite warm.

*added after list was made* Patrick from Meshuggah does indeed bring me my large vanilla latte, even though I said he didn't have to. I lord it over Tiny Montgomery, who anxiously awaits the first brew of coffee. The good thing about student volunteers is that you don't have to lift a finger. "R.! Go see if the coffee's ready!" and off he trots. It was.

4. 5 of my male students show up at 8:15 am on a Saturday to help me, even though I had pissed at least 3 of them off the day before. They are wearing their team t-shirts, or navy blue shirts and are charming and carry heavy stuff for my crafters.

5. I am mumbly and confused without coffee. One boy, D., takes my seating diagram and directs the table set up and placement. He tells me to go away and that he can take care of it.I grunt thanks and unload my car.

6. The district turns off the AC and heat on the weekends. We get R. to climb up the closed bleachers with a tool to crank the windows open. He enjoys any chance to show off his muscles to a room full of women.

5. Beqi arrives, crabbing about the worst birthday ever and a speeding ticket. My students assist her in unloading and uncrab her.

6. The kettle corn man shows up, and speaks to me from his van. He is unsure if he'll do the fair or not, since I am not Dionne Warwick and cannot predict how many customers he'll have. He smells funny, and I sense that he is not the type of man I want around my students. He tells me he'll make some calls and let me know. In 5 minutes, he calls me FROM HIS VAN to say that he's going to St. Ann instead.

7. I pace the room, entertaining crafters, and am nervous that nobody will show up and we will make no money and my friends will hate me.

8. People show up, we make money, and my friends love me.

9. Matt's chili is among the first to get sampled into extinction.

10. Other students show up and work my booth for me. They are good salespeople, and sell a lot of raffle tickets.

11. Most folks go home happy. Cranky Cricket gets invited to the Best of Missouri Market, which is awesome news.

12. I "get" to climb up the closed bleachers and crank the windows shut myself, even though I am scared of heights. I develop chameleon-like suckers on my hands from gripping the wall so hard. I don't look down. I sweat a lot. I get the windows closed without falling 15 feet onto the gym floor and snapping my neck in the now-pleasantly-scented corner Morgan's Naked Soaps was situated. At least I would be soothed by the faint cloud of lavender.
I have to sit on the top bleacher for a minute until my arms stop shaking and I can get the courage to climb back down the closed bleachers. I assure my principal I'm fine, mentally cursing the 2 girls who didn't show up for their shifts. Women, man....

13. My principal is pleased with me, and I feel the best I've felt in a LONG ASS TIME.

14. Now I feel weird, since a parent of a possible future student is reading this. Hi Bev!

15. I shower, nap, and then go to poppymom's for wine and cheese and telling funny stories about chipmunks and knives and the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.

16. I come home, find Matt already asleep, but pull a 20-something thing and lay in bed with him talking until 2 am.

17. I worry about what bad thing will happen to delete my euphoria.

18. I sleep.

19. I wake up and wonder if my friends embarrassed me in front of my students or vice versa.

20. We think we hear someone at the front door and yell that we are sleeping and to come back later. It was just the wind.

I ate no chili.

Chilicraft!!!

Yes, the Chilicraft is almost upon us! Start starving yourselves for the taste-off!
One of my students drew up a more amazing flyer than this yesterday. I will have to scan and post his. I almost wept, it was so creative and awesome.

So, if you're interested in the mayor of Squaresville, come on over to Brittany Woods to sample chili, spend a lot of money on awesome clothes by Beqi, jewelry by Tiny Montgomery, cute little purses and change purses by String Theory, and more and more.
Heck, here's a list:
1. Beqi Clothing
2. marciamenendez.etsy.com
3. sherrybingaman.etsy.com
4. superchickstudio.etsy.com
5. Crankycricket.com
6. Luckybeesbazaar.com
7. aogstudio.com (wicked awesome glass things)
8. cateanevski.com
9. smallthingsbandb.etsy.com
10. Soul Diva trading (yum...shea butter stuff! I shall be soft!)
11. Stringtheoryshop.com
12. Morgan's Naked Soaps (a craft fair isn't complete without a soap person)
13. Tiny Montgomery
14. Of course, myself, squaresville.etsy.com

There will be kettle corn, Meshuggah Coffee, and many of my darling students to entertain you with their banter. Oh yeah, and a raffle contest!
*sigh* now to sleep. Hopefully no tornado-themed nightmares tonight. Last night, my dream killed off the guy Kate is seeing. I mean no harm!

More pics

Me and Mom in the parking lot near the Art Museum in Philadelphia. Note the tell-tale grey streak that proves I am her child!

Me being circled by seagulls. Yes, that is snow piled up in the background. Note my cool wonderful.etsy.com t-shirt! Hi Megan! We had great pizza and a cheesesteak calzone at a little pizza joint in this strip mall.

Matt and some other kid pretending they're Rocky.

Matt and 2 other people pretending they're Rocky.
My dad helped build one of those tall buildings in the background.

Me and Mom not pretending we're Rocky, next to some girl whose boobies are escaping.

It was totally fun to hang out with my mom for the day. I wish we lived closer, so I could chill with her more often.

Spring Break

So, I spent the greater part of this week either in Pennsylvania, or on I-70.
It was great to lounge in my parents' house and eat good home cooking. Mom and I went to an "antique" mall and I ended up with these:







Each piece was $1.00, and the polka dot scrap was a mere quarter! Click on the fox/bird fabric to decipher the wording. The orangey-yellow and yellow/purple squares had old quilting lines marked on them, which sort of came out in the wash. I think they'll be fine for potholders, though.
Of course, a visit to the greater Philadelphia is not complete without a stocking-up of Tastykake products and good coffee.

More pics to come once Matt emails them from his computer to mine.

Mmmm....Tastykakes....









Oh yeah, I also scored this supposed McCoy planter. It is an exact smaller version of one my mother has! Neither one is marked, but both have similar flaws. I lurve it.

love/hate

I was inspired to do this by Blackbird's blog:

I love white chocolate.
I hate white bread.

I love cinnamon dulce lattes at Starbucks.
I usually dislike anything cinnamon.

I love the shape and colors of squid.
I hate the idea of eating squid.

I like cocktail sauce.
I dislike the texture of the shrimp one dips into cocktail sauce.

I love Irish bars.
I hate cigarette smoke in bars.

I love the early morning.
I hate having to go to work in the early morning.

I love shopping at Target.
I hate actually buying things (too frugal for my own good. Or my wardrobe's own good.)

I love listening to music.
I hate going to see bands because of the cigarette smoke, the late hours, and the standing. I have varicose veins, people! Give this old lady a seat!

I love my husband.
I like being alone in the house sometimes.

Nothin' Much

Look how warm it is! I'm in 2 shirts, no jacket, and the sun is shining! I look a hot mess, thanks to a night of drinking and watching "Bird"- the Charlie Parker biopic. It was pretty good, as was the 1554 Ale.



Why bother trimming these grasses when Maggie does it so much better? All winter, she's been rubbing up against the grass, slowly pruning it. Kind of like a big hunk of that meat Middle Eastern restaurants us. Is it kibbe or gyro meat?

Regardless, the dog is damned cute. She has created a little fort for herself, and will sit there watching the birds and squirrels at the feeders.
And now to sew more of these:


For sale now, at www.squaresville.etsy.com!

Sickness

For the past week, I've been coughing, a la 1996, when I had bronchitis. Back then, it was brought on by a Wednesday night gathering of my friends to watch Beverly Hills 90210.
I distinctly remember the episode. Dylan had just gotten married to that actress with the big eyes. There was a scene with him talking to his new FIL. Holly said, " Excuse me sir, while I go bang your daughter behind this bush." I spit out my beer and started laughing so hard I started coughing.
I didn't stop coughing for a month. My roommates were woken up in the middle of the night by me. I took a bottle of Robitussin with me to work and stashed it under the counter. I finally went to Massachusetts General Hospital and got some Robitussin with Codeine and some other little bath-bead-like drug which suppressed the urge to cough.
Wish I had some now. This is what my drinks of choice have been for the past week:


You will note they are almost empty. The shaky picture is indicative of how I feel. I got tired just making the bed yesterday.
The doctor put me on Amoxicillin, which makes it hard to leave the safety of a toilet. I don't know if I'm going to work tomorrow.
Anyway, the pretty blue medicine makes me have very realistic dreams about the most RANDOM topics. Things I haven't thought of in a decade or more! WTF?
Last night, I dreamt about 2 kids I used to babysit. Dennis and Jennifer L.. In the dream, I was talking to their neighbor. Dennis and Jen went to my church, and were among the throngs of Solebury Township kids I babysat. The neighbor was actually Jen G., which I found out after consulting my yearbook. Good times, good times.
Jen went to Boston University, too. I ran into her and her parents in the checkout line at Star Market one day. My hair was probably some bright red color, and knowing the year, I was probaby Cute Punk Rock/Hardcore Girl. Blue Doc Martens and all.
The other night, I dreamt about the albino deer that roamed Solebury Township. Daniel and I saw them, and were calling for our father to come outside to see them. One was the size of a Holstein.
God bless Tylenol.
On New Year's Day, I received 4 orchids from a lady on Freecycle. I have a bad track record with phalaenopsis orchids, but I decided to give it a shot anyway. Well, I am pleased to report progress:



I pruned the bud stalk just above the third node, and it has sprouted a new flower stalk! Do you see the baby leaf in the center of the other leaf?! They are perched on top of the medicine cabinet in our bathroom. Good, filtered light, humidity, and probably the most warmth in the house. I figure since they're used to being in a house, and not Target, they won't die.
I was in Chicago a few weeks ago, hanging with Alexis and whoring my potholders to chic stores in Lincoln Square. It was a great, great weekend. I'm always sort of worried that I'm one of those people who is constantly rehashing the good old days, to the annoyance of others. Not so with Lexi! She reminded me of many stupid things we did that I had forgotten about.
Saturday night, her husband was DJing at Club Foot, so we drank many Guinesses/vodka tonics and grooved to the strains of Charlatans, Echo and the Bunnymen, and the Descendents. I love how just one note of one song can instantly transport me 16 years into the past, into a warm summer night, into Lexi's ancient purple Volvo. Pavlov would be proud. One note of one song from "Songs To Learn And Sing" and I'm tasting watermelon Bubble Yum. Here's to the good old days, Lex!
Saturday after Hot Doug's, we went to Quiltology, and I left with these:



I know, I know, theyr'e Denyse Schmidt fabrics. Fabrics from my sworn enemy. But they're so dang cute! And they'll be perfect in potholders! Cut me a break!
Also, I'm still taking applications for Chilicraft. Please, please, sign up and help a sister out!

Remember zines?

I'm sure there are still scrawny punk rock kids who make zines. Lexi and I made 1 issue of "Bread". It rocked. My brother did "Milkshake" for a while. He drew a happy milkshake character which looks strangely like Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Dan's zine was done back in the early 90's, so THEY ripped HIM off, not the other way around. Plus, those guys are total idiots. I'm sure I'd have to wait in line to slap them around.
Here is what I just spent the last few hours on:


Pretty cool, huh? You like the tattoo lettering? I had to slip that in there somewhere.
So, if you're a crafter or a chef in the St. Louis, area, sign up!

Stalker Girl

I saw it today.
It went right past me, like I wasn't even there. Isn't that part of a Dag Nasty song?

I know it was the one. My sweet, cherished, blue Mazda, that I THOUGHT I was fully over.
Nope.
Just as "You're So Vain" came on the radio, I looked over, and in front of the SouthSide Bank, was the deer-damaged front quarter panel I knew so well!
It was headed south on Grand.
I will have to find out where it lives now.
Did it see me in my new Mazda? Was it jealous? Did it see me? Does it miss me?
I had to buy a new one! Matt wouldn't let me dump any more money into it! It's not my fault it got a cracked water pump!

Sigh.


Oh yeah, my birthday is tomorrow, and I expect chocolate, bitses!

Who Do You Love?

You all love me, and my silly, silly ways, right? You all love the spontaneous, flybytheseatofherpants Alli?
Well, bitses, sign up for my very own craft fair! I volunteered/was volunteered by my evil best teacher friend to organize a craft fair to benefit my school's PTO.
Yes, me. Organizatin' somethin'.

The picture to the left shows what happens when I organize Monty's morning glories and purple hyacinth bean. There's a headboard and footboard under that mass of leafy fence.











So, the deal, tentatively called Chili Craft, is March 24th. You're right, that isn't a lot of time. It'll be from 9 am to 2 pm at Brittany Woods Middle School, in our awesome 1956 gym. I might even be able to get tables for us. The booth fee is $35 plus 10% of your profits. It's a benefit, stop griping.
Are you a chef? Did you make basil jelly from this (the basil, not the scowl or boobs) :


There's more where that scowl came from! I know who you are, you knitters and stitchers and cutandpasters!
Help a sister out, wontcha? Let me know ASAP so I can impress the PTO on Feb. 6th.
God, that is a really unattractive photo, but it works in so many ways.

Now GET CRAFTIN'!

End of Year Summary

Allison F.'s comment made me laugh out loud, and I wanted to expound upon it.
Yes, we are old.
I am more interested in knitting or sewing than bands. If I get into a band, that means I'll have to go see them IF they play in this shitty town, and that involves standing in a smoky room with youngsters.
I actually passed up a Bouncing Souls show, because I didn't want to be the oldest person there. I didn't want to be the only person who knew them "when". We used to go see them at City Gardens, in Trenton, New Jersey. I bought a t-shirt from their old drummer. I still think they rock, and their newest album is great, but....ugh...the standing.
And college-age kids bug me, with their Uggs and perfectly emo-d hair and shirts with that happy bunny. Back in my day, we didn't have the luxury of Hot Topic to achieve our look. We had Allston Beat, Amvets, and The Garment District. Heck, growing up, I had NONE of that. It was The Pinwheel consignment shop for me.
I guess by age 30, I've lived my wild and crazy youth. That doesn't mean I'll never occasionally drink too much and puke out of the car. I'll wear a band t-shirt if I find one I like. But now, I know what Allison is about. I'm comfortable with my homebody, knitting, sewing, coffee drinking, traveling self.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I'm full of eggs over easy, bacon, toast, and diner coffee, and there is a pile of 4.5 " squares beckoning.

And Allison F., I too have a husband who watches football.

Post For Kate

Hi Kate!
Here is what I've been up to:
1. Knee deep in cottons for those dang charity quilts Robin and I keep stalling on.
2. Creating new garden via cardboard, compost and dirt.
So, I just laid down a cheet of cardboard, from the dinette set, layered leaves, compost, and dirt on it, planted the birdfeeder stake, and voila! My mother had done this a while ago, and now has a strawberry patch. She used newspaper, though. Eventually, I'll turn that whole strip of grass into a patch of tall, colorful flowers.
Oh yeah, I also dug up and reset those big edging bricks. I have calluses!

3. Enjoying my Winter Break, and already moping about going back to work.
4. Drinking way too much coffee.
5. Seeking, and thanks to Cat, finding my dream dinnerware set!

The pattern is called Blue Dandelion, and it's by Stetson China, in case you ever find a sugar and creamer set for me. My birthday IS coming, you know.
Also, please note I am not scowling in this photo. Pretty good for a self-portrait!
Kate, you will recognize this shirt, no?

Here is my favorite Christmas gift:

This would be a coral Christmas cactus from my beloved. Not red, not white, not yellow, but a gorgeous pale orangey peach coral.

Remember when I asked Santa for a table and chair set? Apparently Santa's name is Lynne. I have the greatest MIL around!

The dog was already here :)

New Year's Resolutions? Ha.
I resolve to go on a 1.5 week vacation to PA, Boston, and Maine to visit parents, grandparents, Gardner Street, and Kate.
I resolve to drink more water.
I resolve to stop wasting so much time on the computer.
I resolve to really get my little business cookin'. I made my first international sale yesterday!
So, a brief question, dear readers: What more/else should I sell? Keep in mind, I am but one person, with one sewing machine.
Let me know!

SNOW DAY!!! Wait...

So, I did The Happy Dance Thursday night, when my coworker called to tell me there was no school Friday. I stayed up late! I drank beer! All on a weeknight!
But....I woke up Friday, at 5:30 am, as usual, thinking it was a leeeetle cold. One look at my clock radio told me that it would be a long, cold day. No cheerful red numbers, no KDHX waking me.
Dear God,
You know I wanted a snow day so I could stay home and replenish my craft stock for Wintermarkt next Saturday. That requires electricity. So, why did you do this?

Now, I'm glad those ancient trees didn't fall across my street, or pull down the lines, but I really wanted to sew. I had laid in bed the night before, watching the blue flashes of transformers exploding, and hoping one wasn't responsible for my coffee, sewing machine, and radio. I prayed to you, remember? I thought about all the things I was thankful for. So, how do you explain this?

I am thankful that our house didn't get crushed by a tree, or that the wires in my backyard

didn't give up and snap from the weight of 2 inches of ice. I am lucky Matt's mom has an extra bed, even if it's in a small room with a million pieces of furniture (many with flowers). His mom is a lovable crazy lady. After all, she and I were singing along to "Let Your Love Flow" by The Bellamy Brothers this morning.
And thank you God, for allowing me to drive home Thursday afternoon in the ice storm without smashing my new car!
Love,
alli

So folks, sewing did get done at the MIL's house yesterday. I'll have enough stock to not look silly, and hopefully people will be eager to buy retro Santa Claus print oven mitts.
Come see me, Beqi, and Cat at Wintermarkt!

Everything Went Green

If you know me, you can easily guess my favorite colors. Green of all hues, and deep blue. It was painful to have to get a red car, but I've made it though the fear.
So, here is the color of our New Porch. A dark avocado-ish green.

Here is Matt, looking cute with a paint smear on his face.

Other than approving of the paint color, and periodically checking to make sure Matt hadn't fallen off the ladder and made me a rich widow, I spent all weekend sewing. And let me tell you, Rock and Roll Craft Show customers, if 55 pairs of potholders and 20 oven mitts aren't enough for you, then I don't know what is enough.
Besides the RNRCS3, I'll be at the St. Louis Vegetarian Society's annual Turkey-Free Thanksgiving, selling my wares. I know, I know, I'll eat anything with a heartbeat or a growing season, but I can't say no.
Beqi and I are selling at Wintermarkt, in the Skinker-DeBaliviere neighborhood on Dec. 9th. Last year was the only year it was painfully cold; we've always had decent weather before.
And then, I rest, until I get a wild hair to do a craft event in Chicago in the spring.
Always accepting old jeans,
Allison

On the 7th day, Allison rested

It hasn't been 7 days yet, but we're resting this weekend. By resting, I mean I'm sewing like a banshee and Matt is tinkering with the railing of the steps.
Here is what is now attached to our house;
You will note that the 300-lb concrete pillar, "Sir Lean-A-Lot" has now been retired. Since my dad was able to push it over with just a touch of his foot, I'm glad we're not relying on it to keep our porch from blowing off the house in one of the many tornadic storms St. Louis gets. Remember last January 2? After drinking cheap beer all day and watching a Star Wars marathon at John and Jenna's house, I awoke to tornado sirens at 5 am. Welcome back to work, Allison!
So, I dug a trench big enough for me to lay in (no exaggeration) and gave the pillar a proper burial.

Dad and I rolled it across the yard, and thankfully, it fit right into my trench, after crushing one of my fingers.
If you know me at all, you know I LOVE trash and recycling stuff. For instance, there is a teal recliner by one of the dumpsters as I type. I'm resisting going over to check it out.
I like how the post makes a nice border for the rosemary and dill. If the next owners don't like it, it's their problem. I'm not moving that behemoth again.
Here is the inside of the porch, from the kitchen doorway:

We're really excited to use the porch for dinner, breakfasts, and I want to be able to sleep on it in early summer. Matt bought 2 curtain rods for the windows you see above, as the streetlight shines right in.
Santa, bring me a hammock and a cute table/chair set!

Workin' Man Hands

So, my dad is in town, from Pennsylvania, with the intent to build us a new covered porch. So far, things are going smashingly. I took the day off from work and did this:
That whole pile of old porch? Neatly stacked in the garden. What about the dirt Matt dug up yesterday for the concrete pilings? Yeah, I shoveled all that and spread it around the garden.
The new porch is 8' by 12', and if you don't think pressure treated decking in 12 foot lengths is heavy, you're a moron.
In the above photo, I've captured the rarely photographed Big Mike. My dad's pretty badass for 59. Here's what the end result of today is. Don't let Maggie fool you, she just laid around all day and watched us.

It was pretty surreal, roaming through the new Lowe's with my dad. I had multiple flashbacks of being 6,10, and 15 and in the same scenario. Dad mutters to himself about the plans, we can't find 14' planks, so we have to get 16-footers, I had to go back and get angle caps, but got the wrong size, I hold the board while he bashes it just a teensy bit more into the hole in the house...did I mention my hands are inches away from the bashing tool?
All my life, Dan and I helped build things with him. We were the holders, the flashlight shiners, and the weight. "Go get your brother and stand on this thing". Today was really awesome, even though I was cold. I wish I could take the rest of the week off and be a little girl again, holding heavy things and fetching tools and looking for the elusive 9/16ths wrench that grew legs.

Dull update

So, as fate would have it, here is the excitement of the night: Patrick from the Tower Grove Farmer's Market called me to see if I was available for a taping of the farmer's market by Show Me St. Louis. He said they wanted to interview a vendor, and I was his FIRST CHOICE!!!
But, once again, work drags me down. They're filming at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon, when I will be in 5th period/The Henhouse.
Goldang it.

On a brighter note, my dad is driving out on Saturday/Sunday to rebuild our hoosier-fied porch!!! In this pic, can you see the lean? It's like an M.C. Escher drawing. Disregard the crazed moonflower vine, unless you want some seeds.

He's making it just a smidge longer, and infinitely more stable. It's been a long time since I've played helper to Dad on one of his projects. Our family tore down and rebuilt an addition onto our farmhouse, and then we tore down and rebuilt a 3-car garage. We also tore down our barn after a windstorm blew out the side.
I am no stranger to nails or hammers or saws or "Come stand on this board while I run the circular saw mere inches away from your foot".
The other big news is the Tower Grove Harvest Fest this whole weekend. Autumn and I will be selling our wares (if I get any done). Come stop by-I should have some Chrismasy potholders for your holiday delights.
Jeez, I don't think I have one picture where I'm not snarling at the camera. I swear, I look much happier than this!
Oh, and GO CARDINALS!!!!!

I want a piglet

This is so freakin' cute, I had to share.

*blows dust off diary*

Well, dear readers, I've finished several sewing projects, and instead of rebuilding my stock for the Harvest Festival and Rock and Roll Craft Show 3, I'm on the computer, giving you what you want.

May 6, 1987
Dear Nancy,
Hi. Sorry. Today the sun actually shone and so I wore shorts. Mom picked me up from school and as a nice surprise, took Dan and I to Dilly's Corner for ice cream.
Yesterday Dad fixed the valve core on my bike. H. asked me if I wanted to ride along the canal path to Limeport. So I said maybe, because my bike was sick. Today she says, "I don't know if I'll have my bike back by then?" She better not have lied to me!
C. likes Chris C. He has a humongus hacienda! But it seems every time I look at him, he's looking at me. Oh dear.
Mom and Dad are planning to go to Ireland this summer.
Bye!

Ah, the ever present plan to go to Ireland. It fell by the wayside, along with the computer, rebuilding my 1967 Mustang, a new car for me upon college graduation ( I got $90 and "Eat something, will ya?" from Dad).....we Walkers love to plan, plan, plan.
Dilly's Corner was a little ice cream/snack shop right at the bridge over to New Jersey. I probably had a blueberry milkshake, made with real ice cream, real blueberries, and real milk. They also had good cheese dogs.
H. lived along the New Hope Canal, which followed the Delaware River down to Morristown. Mules used to pull barges along it, but when we lived there, it was a bike/walking path. Actually, I think you could still take a mule barge ride.
Chris C. was a hot item for most of my high school years. Last I saw him, he had a big neck and had obviously been working out 30 hours a day. He was one of the smartest kids in my grade, quiet, and had a good sense of humor. He was a BMX-er. Chris was one of those kids who want to be millionaires by the time they're 25, and I bet he was close.
The first wearing of shorts was a big deal for me, because my legs are/were blindingly white. I may be responsible for several holes in the ozone layer. I was SO self-conscious of it, but never resorted to fake tan, thank god. Even now, my legs never tan. I get a few freckles, but that's about it.

In Which I Offend Many In The Name of Humor

Dang, I hate working. If anyone has any ideas of how I can still rake in the big bucks yet stay barefoot all day, please let me know.
No, I won't do that.

I've been inundated with special request potholder orders, including one for EIGHTEEN. Now, I love these repeat customers, but damned if I don't need to take a day off just to sew.

Things of Importance Since Last I Blogged:
1. None of my size 6 pants fit anymore, thanks to the potbelly someone glued to me one night.

2. My new students are nicer, but have funkier names. Taundalayaria. No, it's not a tropical disease. She goes by Tangie. Actually, I don't even know if that's spelled right. If she was Thai or Cambodian or Laotian, I'd understand. I once taught a Sourisack Pachanirisiri. He was a straight Crip, yo, but very respectful to me, and not just because I'm a Crip Killa.

2.5. I'm not really a gang member, if anyone accidentally gets here because they are one.

3. A frighteningly large percent of hits to this blog are from people looking for pictures of Girl Scout Cookies. Now, hell yeah, they're tasty, but we can wait until March, folks.

4. Poppymom and I went to a quilt show in St. Charles last weekend, as did hundreds of bikers and their leathery biker women. It was a feast for the senses.

5. Too many people made quilts out of dusty pink and blue in the 80's. We scoffed at these.

6. Baby accessories are totally cute, and I want you all to buy me cute baby accessories once I get a bun going in this oven.

7. I awoke last night in pain from what I can only guess was my right side wisdom tooth tearing apart my jaw.

8. I am in dire fear of getting them removed, even though I only have 2.

9. My mom informed me that my brother was 12 pounds at birth, not 10 as I had previously thought. Will my potbelly help make delivery of a huge baby easier?

10. Strange Folk Festival is coming up with a quickness and I'm panicking that I don't have enough.

11. I accidentally said, "I'm black on the inside" to one of my classes today.

12. If it makes it any better, we were discussing what the word minority meant,and I used myself as an example. A kid said, "But how do we know you're not mixed?" and I said the phrase before I could stop myself. It got several laughs. It IS a running joke among a few of my co-teachers that C. is secretly black, and was given this designation by A., a black teacher. C. jokes about it herself, and the other day, A. said I wouldn't know who Blair Underwood was because I don't watch black movies. It's all a joke, people! C. and A. and I are cool like that! But god help me, I said "I'm black on the inside" to my kids!

13. That pic of Bloods is really creepy. Like they really play guitar.