Thursday, September 14, 2006

In Which I Offend Many In The Name of Humor

Dang, I hate working. If anyone has any ideas of how I can still rake in the big bucks yet stay barefoot all day, please let me know.
No, I won't do that.

I've been inundated with special request potholder orders, including one for EIGHTEEN. Now, I love these repeat customers, but damned if I don't need to take a day off just to sew.

Things of Importance Since Last I Blogged:
1. None of my size 6 pants fit anymore, thanks to the potbelly someone glued to me one night.

2. My new students are nicer, but have funkier names. Taundalayaria. No, it's not a tropical disease. She goes by Tangie. Actually, I don't even know if that's spelled right. If she was Thai or Cambodian or Laotian, I'd understand. I once taught a Sourisack Pachanirisiri. He was a straight Crip, yo, but very respectful to me, and not just because I'm a Crip Killa.

2.5. I'm not really a gang member, if anyone accidentally gets here because they are one.

3. A frighteningly large percent of hits to this blog are from people looking for pictures of Girl Scout Cookies. Now, hell yeah, they're tasty, but we can wait until March, folks.

4. Poppymom and I went to a quilt show in St. Charles last weekend, as did hundreds of bikers and their leathery biker women. It was a feast for the senses.

5. Too many people made quilts out of dusty pink and blue in the 80's. We scoffed at these.

6. Baby accessories are totally cute, and I want you all to buy me cute baby accessories once I get a bun going in this oven.

7. I awoke last night in pain from what I can only guess was my right side wisdom tooth tearing apart my jaw.

8. I am in dire fear of getting them removed, even though I only have 2.

9. My mom informed me that my brother was 12 pounds at birth, not 10 as I had previously thought. Will my potbelly help make delivery of a huge baby easier?

10. Strange Folk Festival is coming up with a quickness and I'm panicking that I don't have enough.

11. I accidentally said, "I'm black on the inside" to one of my classes today.

12. If it makes it any better, we were discussing what the word minority meant,and I used myself as an example. A kid said, "But how do we know you're not mixed?" and I said the phrase before I could stop myself. It got several laughs. It IS a running joke among a few of my co-teachers that C. is secretly black, and was given this designation by A., a black teacher. C. jokes about it herself, and the other day, A. said I wouldn't know who Blair Underwood was because I don't watch black movies. It's all a joke, people! C. and A. and I are cool like that! But god help me, I said "I'm black on the inside" to my kids!

13. That pic of Bloods is really creepy. Like they really play guitar.

1 comment:

Robin said...

You're so damn gangsta.

I went back to Patches today like the junkie I am. Much to my surprise, their prices were really good and they have a customer loyalty card. Buy nine yards, get the 10th free. And they include fat quarters in the yards-purchased! Those fabulous tulip-shaped bundles are a mere $20. And I met the woman who made the gorgeous hot pink and chartruese star quilt that we decided should be in the Pottery Barn Kids catalog.

I scoff at leathery biker women in gold lame tank tops and dusty mauve quilts. Oh, and Bloods. But I don't scoff at your mama because, damn! 12 pounds!