Thursday, December 18, 2008

Why I Hate Christmas

1. It's hard to get excited about Christmas when one of your parents is either not speaking to the entire family (except the cats) or is off hunting on Christmas morning.

2. Too much sugar cookie rolling gives one a sore back.

3. Boom! It's over. Even Lowe's has all their Christmas decor on clearance.

4. I have too many choices of who to donate stuff to. Should I knit a million pairs of mittens for needy families in shelters? Should I donate them to the families my school sponsors? What about my own students who are in crappy families?
For example, I noticed *Juan*'s deformed thumbnail today.
"What the heck happened to your thumb?" I asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," replied the normally annoyingly conversative kid. He's always all up in everyone's Kool-Aid and doesn't even know what flavor it is! Seriously, if you are talking to someone else and turn around fast, *Juan* is there. He never wants to go home, and is always hanging out after school with us. He's a sidler!
I know it's his dad's fault that his thumb tip is all deformed, but I really don't want to ask. Cause, if the Mayor of Brittany Woods ain't talkin', it must be pretty bad.
Things like this break my heart.

So, 4. is that I am too ADD to pick one charity to do nice things for. Plus, the procrastinating gene in me is STRONG.

5. You go to church on Christmas Eve and everything is so pretty and sparkling with the candlelight service and a church full of warm bodies singing your favorite songs. It's full of a beautiful warm feeling and you think that maybe Jon King is looking at you like he might like you and he says "Merry Christmas" to you all close and romantic (for church).
Then, you go home to a house of tension and misery where we all walk on eggshells and only come out of our rooms for meals.

6. I hate packing up the ornaments. Conversely, I dislike unpacking a suitcase and the dishwasher.

7. I know there's lots of people out there worse off than me, and then I feel like an asshole for blogging about it.

8. 8, 8, I forget what 8 was for.

9. I am totally serious about #1. Dad wouldn't talk to us usually from Thanksgiving until my birthday (January 28th. I like green, chocolate, and organized living). He would even get his OWN beer!

10. Brown Christmas. Or, like tonight, Black Sheet of Icy Death Christmas. Seriously, go salt your steps, folks.

11. I get hooked on 90210 reruns and follow the story line for 2 weeks then have to go back to work.


maitai said...

there are SO many reasons why i hate christmas. i wouldn't even know where to begin.

Elizabeth Frick said...

So I'm glad you haven't dropped our xmas card off b/c we're some of those jerks who don't salt their steps. It's suicide to come into our house. Or go out. I feel really bad for the UPS guy and our postman.
Secondly, next year at xmas you can donate cuddly blankets to the kitties that will (hopefully) be in my shelter!!!